Emo-ing

July 26, 2009 at 10:20 pm (Uncategorized)

I was sitting all alone at the mamak stall  tonight….Thought I could resist of going out for dinner but I gave in. Blame it to the housemate who was cooking at home earlier on..the smell drove me nuts!! I’m hungry!! LOL

Thank goodness there’s a 24-hour mamak nearby…There, just sitting opposite me were an old man with a young boy…I would assume that must be the grandpa and grandson. Somehow, an indescribable  feelings overwhelmed me. I guess I miss my family. At the same time, I was wondering if I would live that long and spend the rest of my life with my beloved ones.

Argh, guess living alone like this really drives me crazy. Constantly going out on the weekends is really burning holes in my pocket since I stay here in Kajang..not to mention because of the presence of the car too.  Can’t help the impulse to drive around aimlessly sometimes when boredom and loneliness haunt me down.

I just have no idea to talk with sometimes when I’m stuck in such situation…so unbearable.

Suddenly, I miss the Youthsays members too. Hmmm…or should I say the MYN members now? Well, it’s so hard to catch up with everyone nowadays at the portal… But I miss the gathering….I miss them…you know who you are…. Paulin, Ripsta, Pillie, Neo, Jordy and the rest. Definitely really miss the random jokes from you guys.

Let’s see…who else I’m missing here…owh ya, the ding ding clan and my fellow friends in GEMS. Somehow, I feel like a stranger already to some of them…but still I really cherish those lovely memories that we once shared.

Friends in miri…lagi lar rindu ngan korang eh….Keep in touch with me eh!!!

🙂

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Not sure why…

July 19, 2009 at 11:42 pm (Uncategorized)

Somehow, I was not actively blogging like I used to be….

Neither did I update my blogroll here in wordpress too…. Soon.. 🙂

Just feel like I wanna let it out tonight… been on the roller coaster rides these few weeks.

Finally we have managed to submit the 2 projects on Saturday. But we are not done with that, 2 new projects have been assigned on our first day with the finishing department. The tense and stress were so overwhelming between us. Yet, I still feel that I  need to learn more and wondering when I gonna catch up? >.<

Anyway, that’s not the purpose for this post…. Shouldn’t talk about work outside the working hours eh? Hahaha…

Owh, guess my dream to move out soon really does come true. Hmm in different way though…never have I imagined it gonna be this way. Dad somehow wanna finalize the divorce with mum at this period of time after for how many years….16 years?! Even me myself didn’t remember that actually their divorce aren’t official yet..

Mum was worried about this and that when she called me….somehow I don’t have any response to the situation. To me, everything is like normal….isn’t it?

After a few days, then only I feel the stress….i’m tired of standing in between them.. what’s more when I met up with dad earlier on he didn’t even mention it to me. I thought I’m meeting up with him here in Kajang alone but I was wrong. They are here to meet up with the developer to get the apartment transferred to my name and his. I didn’t even have time with dad to talk it thorough…I was wondering what’s happening. Is this like a cover-up or compensation for me because of the divorce? Why wouldn’t he tell me and talk to me like an adult? Why she’s here with dad anyway for this matter??

They just left soon after the meeting with the developer and headed to Genting. I was wondering if he knew what’s on my mind. What about me? Couldn’t you even spend time with your own daughter? I was hoping to spend more time with dad.

I know I’ll need to pay all of these back to dad..but I don’t think this is the way to keep me bounded….Both of them need me so stop keeping me apart from each other. I’m torn in between. I couldn’t even comprehend this family relationship anymore….maybe I never did.

Thought somehow going out with my friends for dinner could chill me up…but I feel empty inside. I’m not sure who to talk with…staring at the walls and I hate the feelings of staying in this confined room. I don’t wanna be at home…I wanna be elsewhere……I would rather drive aimlessly sometimes just to have a peace of mind, not staying alone in the room..

Aargh well, tomorrow is a new day. Keeping fingers crossed I’m not gonna have the severe ‘Monday blues’ like previous week…heck I never believed in that until it happened last week! Dang Monday blues….. >.>

p/s: somehow i felt like i’m crapping here…pardon me..should have blame it on the hiatus…i’m not longer coherent with my thoughts 🙂

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Chapter 2: The end of induction week & searching for ‘home sweet home’

June 13, 2009 at 10:02 pm (Uncategorized)

It’s been 2 weeks now since i’ve been joining Stenta with the other 8 guys. Finally, we ended the induction weeks with the test today.

We managed to get into the MT’s (management trainee) room and divided our working place and sorting out ideas to keep it neat & tidy accordingly with the 5 S.

As for tomorrow, going to join the staff for the bowling tournament at Metro Point eventhough initially have planned to just to stay at home to rest.

By the way, at the moment very annoyed with the limit connectivity of my broadband here in Sg Chua. At the same time, really wanna move out where i can go online again and be in a comfortable place since next week we gonna start of the ‘challenging journey’ towards the first 3 crucial months of survival in my new working place.

Already, now i’m experiencing  the misery of loneliness without my ex-roommate aka best friend with me now.  Well, life goes on i guess…

P/s: anyone wanna live with me here in Kajang?? I have a few list of apartments KIV for rent with me 🙂

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4th of June

June 4, 2009 at 1:44 pm (Uncategorized)

23…

Wow..I have been surviving in this world for that long. >.<

But there are so much yet to be learnt and achieve. This year’s birthday  defines it in its own way..

Adulthood.. adaption to new working environment and  new place to rent after the whole hectic week to arrange everything.  I’m totally alone this time around though. The previous 2 years I managed to celebrate and spent my time with dear friends in Miri.

However, today I’m not in the birthday mood as I have lots of stuff in mind and to deal with.  I’m having problem with my health since the day I came back from Genting till now…so basically I’m too tired. Addmore, I didn’t have a proper sleep since then too due to that health problem.

But  just when I was trying hard to get myself into the slumber land…suddenly I received a call from Aizad in the middle of the night. Indeed it was an unexpected call from  my dear friends in Genting. Along that, of course Aizad passed on the call to his fellow housemates Kamal and Chotz to speak to me for awhile.

Guess words spreading among the Ding Ding Clan too as I received non stop sms from them the whole day. This  reminds me how blessed I am to have friends like them…they still keep in touch with me till now eventhough I’ve left GEMS for almost 2 weeks now.

My beloved ex-room mate @ GVR, Thana even called me during my lunch break and sang a birthday song along together with Feccy at GVR’s cyber café..tears almost rolling down my cheeks during that moment, thinking that I’m so far away from them now. Wondering if everyone’s staring at them when they was singing it through the phone in that public place…hahaha. Well like I don’t know Thana. She’s always the daring one. Hehe.

Surprisingly too got a birthday card from the HR  during the end of our training for today.  Birthday wishes also came from my fellow buddies from Creative Touch Sdn Bhd @ GVR…

Besides that too, glad to hear from one of the student @ SMK Bentong  during the community service (GEMS) as a facilitator to one of the class…this reminds me the memories and experience during my participation in GEMS…I really miss it all….

All of these simply made up my day. So, just wanna say thank you to all and also for the wishes at my Facebook’s profile too.  All the wishes and simple gestures really touch my heart and that’s all that matter to me. =)

P/S: Sorry, sometimes having problem online at this new place…so it’s gonna be hard to keep up with ya guys.  But do keep in touch though =)

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Migrating

June 2, 2009 at 3:09 pm (Uncategorized)

So, here i am…so pissed off with the stupid blogspot! I’m facing the same problem again and again.

Hate it when that happens whenever I really need to let it out blogging.

I’m gonna explore wordpress soon and update my blogroll peeps…so stay tune… ^^

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Chapter 1: Homeless @ Kajang + Day 1 @ Work..

June 2, 2009 at 10:45 am (Uncategorized)

Finally with the hectic week after coming back from Genting, I almost settled myself down in Kajang…that’s what i’ve thought to myself yesterday.

I’ve moved some of my stuff to the rented room in Kajang only to know that the occupant is still there till this Wednesday.That immediately sent an alert to my brain and i was startled. I have no choice but to stay at a budget hotel for a few days.

Anyhow, the good part is that I’ve got the car earlier than what i’ve expected. At least, i can commute around with the car. After busy helping Naz to move out to my previous room with Ycca and sending me off to Kajang for the day, i have to say goodbye to Ycca. Gonna miss her…Now, i’m gonna be alone again.

As for my first day at Stenta, it was beyond my expectation. Believe it or not, i’m the only female for this management trainee program. The trainer even brief us through that the previous batch before us have none to stay permanent in that company..either they flunked it or they left. But a few of the first 2 batches managed to land themselves a permanent job and working till present. Challenging job indeed…

The climax for today was that for the first time I have a closer look at the production line for the process. Guess i never had the gist of it before applying any job. Indeed it was a harsh environment, worst than sauna (extremely humid with the gigantic machines running 24/7) but which mean i get free ‘sauna’ for that one month…LOL. Addmore, the manufacturing floor is dominated by males..so I feel awkward at times entering the production floor. =.=

So, i was doing a lot of thinking while keep pace with the rest during the briefing. It’s hard when guys keep on staring at a girl like me at the manufacturing floor you see…guess that’s feeling is normal since i’m the female species. Such was the gist of my thought.

The ‘best’ part of it, my batch just come in the right time for overhaul!!!! Well, for those who’s not familiar with that term..i’ll brief it in a moment then. Overhaul means the production floor would be shut down for a few days for production for the maintenance/upgrading of the machines/systems.

So, i’ll be ready to get my hands soak with the grease and all those stuff to clean up some part of the machine (that’s what the trainer told us) soon. ‘Yay’! Anyone wanna join me?? >.<

However, been sacrificing so much for this job after the 2 interviews. So, there’s no point of turning back on my decision. I believe i’ll do my level best to do well in this program for my working experience.

Wish me luck guys.

P/S: Selamat ari gawai to those who are celebrating it especially Jennifer Guma and Jennifer Joni!!! Gayu guru gerai nyamai!! ^^

Rindu ngabang rumah Jen time gawai!!! :p


P/P/S: I miss dad (thanks for making it possible here for me)…mum and the rest in Miri too. It’s been so long since my last trip back to Miri. I know mum is missing me so badly.. I love you mum, just pray for my success here.


For the 1st time having both mum and dad in the same picture after the divorce..perfect enough for me 🙂


P/P/P/S: I miss all of my friends in Sarawak and here in peninsular….the Ding Ding Clan & GEMS friends, i’m thinking so much of you guys today during my 1st day at work!!!

Miss you Ms Wanie & ur randomness..owh & gossips too!! hahahaha xp


Rindu celebrate bday ngan korang & lepak kat miri!!! 😦

Really miss my old friends Thin Thin & Yee Hui ^^


You guys are constantly in my head since the day that I’ve left!! =)


hehe..ni randomly uploaded coz i love it! Nice one Ycca!! Already, i’m missing you my dear room mate Ycca XD

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A fond farewell….

May 26, 2009 at 1:30 pm (Uncategorized)

Finally, the day has came. No matter how unprepared I was to bid my farewell to the rest in Genting View Resort (GVR), I just have to deal with it as time shows no mercy.

After the hectic week for the preparation of the Community Service in SMK Bentong, it’s also happened to be my last day joi
ning GEMS.

Little did I know that my English group as well as some other friends had actually planned up for a farewell party for me at the Club House. My room mates aka the ‘accomplices’ with the organizers Princess Farina and G (as well as the rest of the members ^^) had actually planned for the night.

I was speechless when I was there…to see everyone attending the party with the given time constraint as well as other commitments that they are obliged, be it personal or company matters. They managed to pull it off!

There’s no other mean for me to express my deepest gratitude towards them. I went teary for a few times during the party. Everyone was singing some goodbye /melancholy songs…it was overwhelming.

Addmore, when i was reading Syu’s SMS during that time…i almost unable to compose myself together. She’s one of my best buddy in the group and yet she’s not there as she’s away for her interviews. I wish she was there at that very moment, but I bet I’ll cry a lot if she’s around too.

Owh well, we all had fun singing and dancing altogether… not forgetting the chicken dance, everyone’s favourite! Hahaha….. Can’t believe they made me dance in front. Luckily, Jep was willing to be with me in the center….thanx Jep! :p

G even got us all a Secret Recipe’s brownie..Again, tears rolling down my cheecks when they sang the farewell song. The brownie reminds me of the bitter sweet memories that we all once shared. Definitely leaving all of you behind was my loathest part in making this life decision.



I always tend to belittle myself and never thought myself as that someone who will be missed afterall. Thus, you guys are the one
that keep my feet on the ground at the same time and realized that friends like all of you that makes the wonders more colourful in part of my life.

At the same time, I feel lucky for having great friends throughout my journey of life. I’ve meet all sorts of friends and truly an honour to befriend with single one of you….especially to my new addition of friends in GVR.

Hereby, I do cherish the efforts and time that all of you have sacrificed for me that night. No matter what the future has in store ahead of us, I know eventually we have to go our own separate ways…with that, I wish the best for your future undertakings.

Glad to be part of the ‘ding ding clan’ & it’s my pleasure to know you guys!! 🙂 Do keep in touch my friends and bear in mind that all of you will always remain in my heart ♥♥♥!!! (“,)


P/s: GVR 01 Rocks!!!! ^^


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Back to the real world

May 16, 2009 at 1:38 pm (Uncategorized)

I was escaping from the reality… I admit that.

That’s part of the reason i’m here in GVR. I enjoy the environment and new friends here.
But i guess the real life kinda hunts me back.

I was just out from the jungle after our jungle trekking when i received the call from Stenta Films (M) Sdn Bhd again. Surprisingly, I got the job offer on this very Saturday.

I was puzzled….seriously I kinda flunked the last Thursday’s second interview for that company as management trainee. I even thought of skipping that 2nd interview when i got the call on Tuesday. Heavy-heartedly went back to Wangsa Maju and straight away went to Bandar Baru Bangi to attend the interview…without any preparation!

What’s more was that, I was so exhausted when i came back from Genting and headed back to Wangsa Maju before getting ready for another long journey to that location. I wasn’t keen on the interview at all. Not to mentioned, also had forked out a lot of money for the taxi and public transport.

So, I was caught in the moment after talking to Miss Elaine. A tinge of sadness overwhelmed me too….staring at everyone besides me, I can’t manage to comprehend the mix feelings I had. It’s been almost 1 month i’m joining GEMS. How could i quit at this very moment?

Is this a real opportunity for me? And what’s next for me here in GEMS? Train of thoughts started to flood my mind. *sighs*

Tonnes of preparation to do if i am to accept the job offer. That means i have to move out again for the 4th time and this time around i guess i need to get myself a car to commute around. Suddenly, i’ve remembered the doctor’s advice during my last visit to the Gohtong’s clinic here last week. He talked a lot about GEMS and life more than he talked about my sickness… a bit worry that he prescribed me the wrong medicine…hahaha.

He quoted a chinese proverb during the conversation with me which I don’t even have the slightest idea what it’s all about. The bottom line was that, he encouraged me to get myself a car from my dad. Hmmmmm. I dont trust my driving skill you see…….

Besides, I was dreaming of working back in Miri if I am to go back to arrange my interview with Shell again after my friend texting me about it. Little do i know soon after that, ironically i got a job offer here again.

Haih, really loathes responsibilities and dilemma…my problem solving skill sucks anyhow.
(<..<)

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Reporting from Genting View Resort

May 1, 2009 at 5:45 pm (Uncategorized)

Tiring weeks…. Having the labour day as a public holiday indeed a big relief for me as that means holiday for us here too.

I’m still in Genting View Resort for GEMS. I loathed the first week though. Motivation talk and stuff didn’t seem to motivate me. Need another speaker for that perhaps and more room for improvement though. 🙂

The following week was crazy. We were divided into groups which we known as our companies then started off with the presentation on the identity of each company.

Then we have placement test for English so that we are divided into groups with the same level. More and more activities going on too. From presentation, sketch, and to debate friendly match…we having our Talent Day for tomorrow. Yet, my group has yet to practice…last minute discussion as everyone has other commitments towards our respective companies too.

Apart from the tight schedules and late night sleep…i enjoy my companionship here. From getting to know some friends at the swimming pool, occasionally hooping from one table to the other table during our meals to mingle with everyone and karaoke-ing session..it reminds me a lof of my old friends. I miss them.

I miss mum so much too. My english group was having an interview session with one of our trainer Mr Wijenderjit and suddenly tears rolling down my cheeks. It was something so rare to actually interviewed him. My group member Nina was just sobbing as Mr Wijenderjit mentioned about the sad story about his mum and little did i know i actually joined Nina soon after that when Mr Wijenderjit continuing sharing his words of wisdom.

I know how well it relates so much to me when he mentioned about his mum. It was a wake up call for me to really express my gratitude towards her as life is too short. I’ve should learn that from his life experience as I can’t bear that consequence if i was to take things for granted in life.

Indeed it sounds ridiculous or petty for those who’s reading this now but somehow Mr Wijenderjit is that one person who can really touched your feelings with his words and ensure we really grasp the meanings of his words. Inspiring moment with him afterall.

Frankly speaking, I’m glad to meet Miss Mathy and her husband Mr Wijen here in GVR. Inspiring couple that somehow left positive impact in our lives and touches our hearts in many ways. I wish them all the best in life. 🙂

Okies, that’s all for now. Sorry that no pictures are included this time. Hopefully i’ll have it for the next post.
So, shall continue with my work here… another rehearsal for Talent Day this evening.

P/s: I miss all of you my dear friends 🙂

P/p/s: Here’s a song dedicated to all of ya…Everybody Knows by John Legend. =)


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Rushing towards weekend..

April 17, 2009 at 9:29 am (Uncategorized)

What a week…was under the weather but still need to attend the interview. Seems like i always got called for interviews when i’m sick. Then, there goes the marathon of interviews this week including GEMS interview.

Then the unexpected happened too. I went for an interview at Klang and didnt expect the HR really offer me the job. I knew i was hesitating as before that day itself, i’ve been interviewed for GEMS and have been invited to join the program after they’ve called my referees stated in my CV.

But that wasn’t the sole reason for it. The location of my-suppose-to-be working place is at the remote area in Klang. No access to public transport. I’ve no clue how to plan to move there as that’s also mean i need to get a car. Getting a car wouldn’t be a problem if i negotiate with dad. But the problem is myself. I dont trust my driving skill basically and i sucks at directions. I wasn’t excited at all when the HR told me that i can start working immediatelly as a chemist with my own assistants.

I was freak out and hell i dont know why. Chemist? Now, i’m not sure if i am really a chemist afterall. Geez..is that just a reason?
I don’t know.I’ve told the HR to provide me some time to consider which in my heart i already know what is my answer. But, it was a privilege to be offered that job…i guess i always been in the wrong place at the wrong time as well.

I was so keen on GEMS that i imagining myself being part of the program already. I was anxious to be away for now as if to escape reality. But apart from that too, i have a goal. I’m gonna perform REALLY well in the program and keeping fingers crossed to be absorp into the selected GLC.

Of course, i’m still applying other jobs as well. So, i’m gonna go with both ways to maximise my time and to gain that experience as i’m not bounded to the program. Looking forwards for the opportunities.

While anxiously waiting for the offer letter from GEMS, i’m spending the day with dad who’s gonna fly off to Qatar this midnight. Need to head back to the hotel again later to spend a night there alone after dad checking in for his early hours flight. Already, there’s not much time to make preparation for GEMS as registration is on Sunday at Genting.

I admit the GEMS program is a bit last minute for my batch. I went interview on Wednesday and should be expecting the offer letter by today but there isnt any received though.According to Khazanah’s personnel, they gonna email us on the details later due to server down.

I wish they could be fast on that as there are plenty of preparation to be done not to mention to buy the bus ticket as well.

Already, i’m exhausted due to the insomnia again. Nevertheless, keeping fingers crossed everything goes well. =)

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